this is the most important thing on the internet today
Can i get an amen?
introducing myself in the first day of school
i’m afraid sex will sound the same as when you stir potato salad and that’s why i’m staying a virgin
I’m still fucked up at the fact that the longest piece of English fictional literature written by any human is a super smash bros brawl fan fic.
3.5 million words
AND ITS STILL IN PROGRESS
At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.
So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.
SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.
She refused to fix my grade.
In the end, she shit herself on stage.
I didn’t regret it.
I have never been more offended.
As a college student you’re either struggling academically, financially, or emotionally. Or all three.
sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you